Recital Doctor / Dr. Fred S. Hare

A little case of PMS (Pointe of Major Stress)?

2009-12-19T04:18:00.000-08:00

THE DOCTOR IS IN!

So...maybe it's time to re-think your teaching methods when you reach a 'pointe' of no return...when it seems that NO ONE is getting high on their releve any more and very few are 'down' with their plie...you repeat yourself 'til you're blue in the face and all you get is a blue face...when you secretly wish your barre was a bar! Then suddenly you snap back into reality when you step over the line and do something you regret. PMS?

Setting:
Wednesday night - 13-year olds' beginner pointe class. Very late in the season. More importantly, even closer to your recital date! You are at a breaking point with all the stress in your life...poor you, poor you. This particular group of girls just does NOT 'get it'! Your gentle. constructive corrections have gone unnoticed and certainly unfulfilled for 6 months and now you just cannot take it any more!

Situation:
Correction after correction...on and on for the last 6 months and 25 minutes. Here we go! You stop and turn abruptly to face the class, form the shape of a pistol with your hand (aimed directly at each one of them), and boldly announce, "I can't take this any more! Next week I'm bringing a gun and when you don't correct your mistakes I'm going to shoot you in the knees!" Before you could stop yourself you have blurted out something entirely inappropriate and, well, potentially incriminating for a highly possible lawsuit! At the same moment you suddenly realize that Mrs. Smith, the one 'corporate' mom in her business suit who visits your school about 3 times a year to check on her daughter's progress is standing in the doorway staring at you expressionless. The deafening silence throughout the studio is painful as your thoughts turn into, "I am SO out of business. I am SO not getting out of this one. I am SO over..." Calmly now you finish your class with as much dignity as you can and wait for that mom to call you out. To your surprise she says nothing and takes her child home. This is even worse! Each day for the next week you are waiting in fear for that confrontation wondering how you will ever defend your outburst. Well, it's now Wednesday again and , whew, no sign of the corporate mom but her daughter is in class. As you begin class your secretary steps in to say, "Mrs. Smith is waiting for you in your office. She want's to speak with you before class." Oh, great! Here we go! So you drag yourself into your office to face the music. "Mrs. Smith, first let me tell you how incredibly sorry I am for saying and doing what I did last week. There is absolutely no excuse. I just..." "Stop right there," Mr's Smith interrupts as she reaches into her purse, " I just have one thing to say." She pulls a water pistol from her purse and hands it to you saying, " Aim for the bangs. I hate those bangs!"
Well, although her daughter came home with wet hair, no one was really hurt in the process. WHEW! This could have been a disaster!

TODAY'S PRESCRIPTION:
When you feel PMS settling in DON'T pull out the big guns! You just may not have a parent that is an opportunist like Mrs. Smith in your studio. Instead, evaluate your class, their level of dance and commitment, their attitude toward you and your program. Expect more from every student but not more than they are willing to give. Otherwise you will lose in the end. A positive attitude will bring you more 'bang' for your buck!

WITTY KIDDIE DIDDIES

2009-12-17T03:43:00.000-08:00

THE DOCTOR IS IN!

Out of the mouths of dancing babes: speaking of 'bourree'....

#1. Teacher: "Alright class, today we will be learning 'bourree'! Now everyone stand in your pretty 5th position. Now releve! Let's start by staying in place ... teeny, tiny 'mouse steps' in place, high on our toes. Now then, let's move forward. Good, good. Now lets move to the right. Now to the left. Now let's travel backwards. Good, good! Okay, let's review. Move forward...now what is this called?"
Dancers: clearly pronounce loudly and proudly, "Bourree!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now let's move side to side! What is this called, again?"
Dancers: even louder, "Bourree!"
Teacher: "Excellent! Now let's travel backwards. Here we go!
Now what is this called, again?"
Dancers: at the tops of their lungs, "RAY-BOO!"

#2. This is your second year of owning a school and teaching. You are in your classroom of 15 4 and 5-year-olds. Everything is going well today. All your dancers are paying attention and you are feeling really good about yourself, your school and all the progress of these and all of your other students. Yep, you have really done well for yourself and see a real future with this school. You are truly something special! Now back to the story:
It is now time to have them bourree across the floor. Susie's turn... ready to bourree... well... "What-the-ballet is she doing?!" you think to yourself. Her fifth position is turned IN. Her 3rd position arms are stiff with one pressed tightly against her cheek and the other shoulder touching her ear lobe. Holding her breath, she boldly pulls up on releve, tongue sticking out and placed strategically out of the corner of her mouth. She is concentrating so hard on each and every detail...then she begins to move across the floor with the grace of a - well...NOT a dancer!
Teacher: "Susie! What ARE you doing?!"
Susie: still moving and clearly deep inside herself trying so hard to do it 'correctly', "I'm doing Bourree!"
Teacher: "Susie... now you know you have never seen a ballerina bourree like that."
Susie: still moving on and not stopping for anything, "Uh-huh! Yes I have"
Teacher: "Susie, where would have seen a ballerina bourree like that?"
Susie: "In last year's recital..."
*ba-dum-dum....chhhhhhh! (that was a drum sound indicating..."TOUCHE! little one")

TODAY'S PRESCRIPTION:
Stressed? Take a lesson from your kids. Be honest, up-front, and uninhibited! Remember, kids NEVER miss a thing so the example you set is ALWAYS important and they will always let you know what they are thinking...like it or not! Like a child, go for your goals with all your heart and soul, not taking yourself too terribly serious in the process. Let go and enjoy your dancing and your students. Listen to your kids. Take notes so you won't forget how to be a kid every now and then yourself. Oh, and work on that 'bourree' presentation for THIS year's recital. Most importantly...LAUGH! These are the best days of your life.

Case of the TOPLESS-TAP-DANCER

2009-12-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

THE DOCTOR IS IN!
Day-4 and I am remembering an extremely rare but troubling case.

How to keep your studio free from being 'exposed' to a case of the "topless-tap-dancer":

Setting:
One week before your show and you are excited, exhausted and exceptionally cranky. It is now time for your class of recreational teen tap dancers. Always fun to have around because they just want to laugh and have fun and, sometimes, so do you! But today, something is a little different...and you're not laughing...yet.

Situation:
16 teens lined up and ready to rehearse. You walk down the line greeting each one and taking role as usual when suddenly...there it is...something you've never before seen in your studio and hope to never see again... a case of the "topless-tap-dancer!" So many things go running through your mind. "How do I handle this one? Will it embarrass her when I mention it? Doesn't she KNOW that this is just wrong? Has anyone else noticed?"
You get it together and calmly whisper in her ear, "Why did you cut the tops of the toes off your tap shoes?" (so now we have high-heeled character, open-toed tap shoes here!...with 10 toes literally hanging over the edges of the shoes in front and touching the floor!)

What-the-flap?!!

"Oh, Miss... they were too small. Hurtin' my feet. This feels a lot better. My mom says she won't buy me any new shoes this close to recital so she fixed 'em for me."

I mean...who does that!? Am I right?!

So what do you do? This girl's pretty big and has an even bigger foot! A size 12...wide!
For the sake of your show (and the "topless-tap-dancer's" impending ridicule) you have no choice at this point. You are stuck with purchasing a special-order/overnight delivery pair of shoes. Her mom cannot afford new tap shoes and you don't have time to waste or wait.

TODAY'S PRESCRIPTION:
Always have a box of FREE SHOES in your studio. Have people donate old shoes year-round for just this type of situation. NEVER allow a case of the "topless-tap-dancer" to enter your school! The integrity of your show is very important to your future! No studio's reputation can afford the potential damage that could come from this kind of 'exposure'!
December 12, 2009 4:45 AM

2009-12-15T05:27:00.000-08:00

THE DOCTOR IS IN!
Day-3 of my 'practice' and a sad but true case of "a-brush-with-stupidity" comes to mind. I have not yet determined if it is contagious but pray that it is an isolated incident.

Setting:
You have received all costumes for your show and are more that happy to pass them on to the rightful owners. It's Friday...finally...a light at the end of the tunnel! No glitches so far. All costumes are given out and most customers seem happy with their glittered purchases. At last... the bottom of the costume box is in view and you joyfully hand out the final costume! After the last customer leaves with their bags of goodies you sit down to to your pile of paperwork and begin to finish out your week.

Situation:
The phone rings...here we go!
A parent from another dance day and country calls speaking in an accent you can barely understand (not that there's anything wrong with that) and seems very upset. Since you cannot understand her you ask her to please come in right away so you can work through this problem face-to-face.
She comes in with her 3-year-old and satin-front, slip-on, basic bodice. "So what seems to be the problem, Mrs. 'Smith'?" you ask. In her broken English (not that there's anything wrong with that)she says her daughter's costume does not fit! There are NO arm holes and her bottom is NOT covered! There is no way she will allow her baby to go onstage half dressed and will not pay for this costume and wants a refund and a new costume or she will leave your studio. Very upset now, yourself, you try to calm her down and ask her to have the 3-year-old try on the costume for you so you can determine for yourself how bad this situation is. The mom takes her child into the dressing room and, crying, she walks her out to show you...
Here's when we know FOR SURE this parent has contracted "a-brush-with-stupidity":
The child's HEAD was in a leg hole...arms trapped inside the bodice and her mother had put the child's legs through the elastic straps!!! So...duh!... her bottom WAS showing! The costume was on UPSIDE-DOWN!!
I mean...who does that!? Am I right?
Trying not to pull your hair out as you, in disbelief, run your clenched fists through your hair while holding back everything you WANT to say, you calmly show the mother how the costume IS to be worn and assure her repeatedly that you would never put her child on stage half naked...not until she's old enough for Vegas anyway :-)...and send her on her way.

TODAY'S PRESCRIPTION:
#1 - Always have someone in the class try on the costume for all parents to see how it is to be worn before they take them home.
#2 - LAUGH! Whenever you are exposed to "a-brush-with-stupidity" the ONE & ONLY way to protect yourself from getting infected yourself is to roll on the floor laughing...then have that margarita you didn't have time for yesterday!
December 11, 2009 3:15 AM

Good Advice!

2009-12-13T10:32:00.000-08:00

Delete
Blogger The Recital Doctor / Dr. Fred S. Hare said...

Good morning!
Today is Day-2 of my 'practice'and I am busily preparing for my 'patients' arrival.

Thought from the doctor:
*** When you thought you've heard it all:

Setting:
The very critical 3rd rehearsal out of only FOUR scheduled. You have 42 young dancers 'committed' to learning the choreography for a major production piece for your show. Of course, a select few have been chosen to principal in this in various places within the choreography.
Situation:
Early into this 3rd rehearsal you realize that one of the very essential, characteristically dependable, principals is not in attendance...which, of course, hinders the entire effort...therefore, ultimately adding at least one more rehearsal to be crammed into your already over-stuffed rehearsal schedule for the rest of the show. ughhhh! Am I right?!
Here's the part you don't want to miss:
The next day, here comes the Mom and the dancer into the studio...just like any other day... no acknowledgement that anything is out of the ordinary. You approach the Mom with concern. "We were so worried about Jane yesterday. Was she ill? This is so unlike her to miss a rehearsal...and without a call to the studio with an explanation. I hope she is okay!"
Mom's reply- "No. She's fine." ... silence ... "so...what was wrong?" Mom's reply- "We were eating pancakes." ... silence... "So she's okay? She was just eating pancakes?" Mom's indifferent reply- "Yeah. Sometimes you just gotta eat pancakes."
So what-the-piqué is THAT all about?!
Maybe we should all take a lesson from this:

TODAY'S PRESCRIPTION:
Take a moment for yourself. Lunch with a friend, margaritas, a shopping spree (NOT studio related), read a good book (NOT dance related), keep your kid out of school and go have fun as a family for a day!

SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA EAT PANCAKES!

December 10, 2009 7:22 AM

Meet Dr. Fred S. Hare, RD (Recital Doctor)

2009-12-09T05:51:00.000-08:00

WELCOME!
On this day, December 9th, 2009..... The Doctor is in! I am Dr. Fred S. Hare:

After 40 years in 'training' as a studio owner/dance teacher, today I hang out my shingle for all DANCE STUDIO OWNERS and Dance Teachers in need of enhancement for their dance recitals and/or performances. Most of my patients could all use a little "transfusion" now and then to get their, sometimes temporarily clogged, creative juices flowing through their veins again.

This time of year, for 'others' is a time of family, friends, quiet reflection and peace... not so for the dance director who is frantically putting on The Nutcracker, dancing in malls and festivals, completing competition pieces, ordering costumes for the spring recital and then finally shopping for their own children while decorating their own home...on Christmas EVE! Am I right? Well then, read on and determine from there if YOU may benefit from this blog with your own questions and situations to share with other 'infected' teachers...

Do YOU have Recitalitis?
If you are not sure, please review the following symptoms to help with this self-diagnosis:

* Do you have Shortness of Ideas?

* Take your Blood Pressure. Is it holding at 5 6 over 7 8?

* Is your Heart Rate continuously two beats faster than The William Tell Overture?

* Does Dizziness set in when you are looking through the 30th costume catalog for the 97th time in search of the perfect costume for the child whose mother owes you four months tuition and is complaining that you are out of toilet paper? Note: you may also experience boiling blood during this time as well.

* Does a sudden Rash appear when you unfold your, long awaited, 25'X40' "New York Skyline" backdrop rental on stage the day of your show to find a beautiful......18'X25' "Nutcracker, Land of the Sweets" instead?

* Do you develop Restless Dancers Leg Syndrome four months prior to your show? It is common knowledge that every critical piece of choreography is created in your sleep!

* Does MTCT (mumbling through clenched teeth) occur when, in the class you so carefully choreographed the entire production around and EVEN number of dancers to include several partnering patterns, a parent calls TWO weeks before the show to indifferently inform you that her child has a chance to go to Disney World with her favorite cousin at the same time. She will not be attending the recital and expects a full refund for costumes, recital tickets and all other recital-related expenses. "Surely you can understand!"

* Two weeks before your show your frequent FRYer miles kick into high gear as your trips to the Jack-in-the-box drive through at 8:00am, 2:00pm and 11:00pm trigger a sudden onset of Diarrhea!

* You may experience a case of SleepWalking through Wal-mart on a Tuesday at midnight in search of lunch meat and underwear for your own children because you've been too busy to cook or wash clothes since April1!

* Do you have a Panic Attack when your pre-paid, non-refundable Tee-shirt order finally arrives the day before your show and, after breathing a sigh of relief, you open the box with a twinge of excitement, to discover that your order of 200 shirts that are to proudly announce your 18th Annual Recital boldy state.... "18th Anal Recital?"

* Have you had occational boughts of DTT (dance teachers turrets)? This can occur when, two weeks prior to your show you, in a last-ditch effort to get your point across to your dancers, while "letting them do the routine 'by themselves" , you sit on your hands while loudly, uncontrollably blurting out directions?

* A Lapse in Judgement most certainly can ocurr when your sports-playing son is getting ready for basketball practice and, in your hurried, frenzied state you impatiently scream, "If you have your costume on, then let's go! You can't be late for rehearsal...AGAIN!"

* One week before your show you may develop a slight case of Kickin' Pox if you have pulled a hamstring while demonstrating, for the 22nd time, the 'perfect' high kick to six-year-olds. You don't understand how this could have happened. After all, your high kick has been legendary for 45 years!

* Have you contracted a Facial Tick when your, always patient, supportive and loving spouse sits down to the ONE meal you have prepared since December on Easter Sunday and gently comments, "Great meal, honey. Is the glitter on the plate a new Martha Stewart thing?"

*** If YOU or anyone you know has experience any of the previous symptoms please write to me, Dr, Fred S. Hare, RD (Recital Doctor)! Contact me for immediate relief .... for answers, support and/or your own RECITALITIS symptoms!